Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Miss Jennifer Requests! or: Random Musings about the Current State of so-called 'Popular' Music.
Alright, alright, people. I know you're all clamoring for new posts about my unique and brilliant take on pop music and sundry other crap on this blog! And I haven't posted in a while! And for this I apologize! But also! I had a lot of crap going on, such as moving to a new apartment and getting sick all the time and dealing with my job. But now stuff appears to be under control, mostly, so I can once again take a moment to sit back and assess the current situation in the world of pop music
OR SHOULD I SAY 'POOP MUSIC'? Because really, okay, this song sure exists and gets played ON THE REGULAR on Z100.
That was Young Money with "Bedrock." As in, "Call me Mr. Flinstone, I can make your bed rock." Uh, Whut? How much "purp" does one have to drink to think that that is a legitimate hook for a song? I suppose my guess is as good as yours, because we all know that whatever is in Li'l Wayne's cup is Li'l Wayne's business, and only Li'l Wayne's business:
Also, fuck Li'l Wayne. HE'S NOT VERY GOOD! HIS RHYMES ARE WEAK, AND ALSO HE IS A REPRESSED HOMOSEXUAL!
Now, let us never speak of Li'l Wayne on this blog again.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Touch Me, Be My Paramour
After reading Simone's excellent post about Justin Bieber, I felt inspired to write a post of my own in the same vein (barely legal teen boyz), in order to steal her thunder. Anyway, I have been planning on writing this post about Brett Smiley forever but was too lazy! Gerard first showed me this Brett video over a year ago, and it truly has everything! It is definitely similar to other 1970's interviews with weirdo rock stars (Iggy Pop and Bowie on the Dinah Shore show, that Sex Pistols interview even though they're not that weird) in that the stuffy interviewer is totally horrified by the person in front of them.
Who is that person? Why, Brett Smiley, the much hyped/ miserably failed teen glam rock star, led by Malcolm MClaren-esque impresario Andrew Loog Oldham. Brett Smiley's image was feyer than fey, though I think in reality he was just a theater kid who did a lot of blow. Unfortunately, I had never heard of Brett Smiley as a teen (his album never even came out, and was only re-realeased on CD after I graduated high school) but I would have been really into him, let me tell you. I am still pretty into him, though more in the amazing photos above than in the clip. As pointed out in Simone's post, there is a reason there are usually few beefy and bearded heartthrobs: many ladies, especially young ladies, like dudes who look like girls.
Though Space Ace, the single on this video, isn't nearly as good as it is on the album, it is an awesome and hella catchy song, with the sweeping, dramatic glam quality that would have blown my mind in high school. Lyrics like There comes a time in every space boy's life/He gets involved in a chariot race just don't measure up to music nowadays.
These posts also made me think of how it was all well and good to be into fey, nubile teen boys when I was a teenager, but now I'm 26 so I guess that means I'm a just a lech?
Guest Post Writer Mary
PS: Rereading this post's first paragraph and thought, "Wow, I am so funny!" and then I realized Gaby had actually written it.
PPS: What does Brett Smiley look like now? You don't want to know!
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Softest Butch...
...is a 13 year old pop star named Justin Bieber. I am assuming he's 13, because really, I don't want to actually do any research about this child. But, OMG, check out his non-threatening lesbian haircut! The clothes work for it to! The first time I saw one of this kid's videos on TV I was really shocked that they were marketing an adorable dyke to the teenagers. Okay, maybe that's just my own personal fantasy, but seriously, fucking look at this kid:
Omg! So lesbionic! So "'Non-threatening Boys' magazine"!
Also, according to that video, he knows Usher. GAY!
But okay, here's where I get angry. This song:
"One Less Lonely Girl." Alright, I heard this on the z100 the other day, and the lyrics... well, let's just read the ones that piss me off: "I'm gonna put you first/I'll show you what you're worth". AUGH! No, 12 year old boy, fuck you. Girls do NOT NEED BOYS IN ORDER TO FEEL VALIDATED OR WHOLE OR SOMETHING!!! JUSTIN BIEBER IS THE PATRIARCHY! Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!
Also, apparently 12 year olds love to hang out in laundromats these days? The times, they are a changin'.
In conclusion, wouldn't it be awesome if Justin Bieber was actually the softest butch in deep undercover 13 year old boy drag? That would rule. But he isn't, and also he's a tool of the patriarchy, so boo-urns.
Additionally, I would love to know what Beavis and Butthead would say about this kid! Huh-huh-huh.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Get the Rhythm of the Hot Dog.
As per Mary's request, here's the video of the girls doing the clapping game of "down down baby." This is also one of the videos from Sesame Street that made a huge impression on me when I was little. I haven't seen this video in probably 15 years, but watching it was a total deja-vu psychedelic freakout, man. I remember the girls, particularly the little one, and their clothes, and their braided hair, and those hair elastics with the big shiny plastic balls on them. I used to play this game on the schoolyard. I loved, loved, loved clapping games, and I think a big part of why I thought they were so cool was because of this video. Also: I am having deep feminist thoughts about girl culture and visibility and the fact that this was on tv when I was little really validated a part of my experience as a girl.