The Accordion Connection

Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

"What's Your Man Got to Do With Me?"

When I was ten and first began listening to the radio (KC101, Hits of Hamden, for any fellow Connecticutians out there), there were several popular songs that helped mold my emerging ideas about love and romance. I had them all on a single mix tape I taped off the radio, and I share these insights with you now:

1. Depeche Mode, "Enjoy the Silence"
Lesson: Gay British guys are more romantic than anyone you will ever actually date, so lower your standards.

2. Snow, "Girl I Been Hurt"
Lesson: Not only was Snow busted by someone who was an "informer", but now some girl is going around hurting him and stuff. Can't this guy get a break? Anyway, the lesson was the love hurts.

3. Guns N Roses, "November Rain"
Lesson: Axl Rose isn't very cute, but chicks still seem to dig him, I guess? So the lesson was, you can be not very cute, but if you own your own kilt(s), you can probably find someone to love. Also, you can probably die from looking at the rain too long with your mouth open (these lessons were primarily gleaned from the video, actually)

And this song:

I would say it's the lessons from this summer jam classic that I find myself applying most in my day-to-day life.

MC Lyte is way hotter than she sounds, huh (cos she sounds a little bit like someone's chain-smoking great aunt/ Lindsay Lohan)?

Just In--Lindsay Lohan: "Normal Person", "Gets Breakouts"

How Lindsay Lohan found time to make this infomercial for ProActiv Skin-Clearing or Whatever Crap in between making all those movies and "dating several men overseas", I'll never know. She's so tireless! It's like she has some secret source of energy, you know? One that rendes even basic activities like eating or sleeping inessential. Hmmm. Well, I guess we'll never know:

Rebel Without a "Cool Breeze Over Montains"

Last night, the staff of Accordion Connection went to go see "A Scanner Darkly", and let me tell you, it was great, despite the best efforts of the teenagers sitting next to me, who stopped making out every so often only to ask each other "What is with this movie? It's so weird. Wait did that guy just turn into a bug?" For starters, I would like to say kudos to Richard Linkleter for filling pretty much every role with someone whose career hit it's peak way before 1994--I always like to see Nonnie getting work, you know?

Of course, you could say that Keanu is the exception here--I mean, if you're the sort of jerk who goes around referring to him as "Neo" or something. Newsflash, hot shot: those movies were totally the 'second act' of his career, and he will always be Ted Logan and Johnny Utah (and possibly Johnny Mnemonic)(christ, did I spell "Mnemonic" right?) to me and every other right-thinking American. Anyway, that, logically, led me to think about his early 90s turn as the hero/ romantic lead in the Paula Abdul long-form story video "Rush, Rush". Remember those? With all the dialogue? And usually MTV would cut it out, but sometimes they'd run it with the opening dialogue, and then if you were the only one who saw it, you'd totally lord it over your friends, because you had to lord something over them and hadn't learned who Pavement were yet?

Anyway, as Simone and I walked home last night, I described the video to her as "having a 50s-ish feel". Imagine my surprise, then, when I viewed it today--it does indeed have a 50s-ish feel, because, um, it's just a bunch of dialogue and costumes and settings and scenes from "Rebel Without a Cause", cut every so often with images of the Abduler dancing with a scarf and some odd feather-gloves. I can only imagine what was running through Paula's pretty (middle-aged) little head when she conceived of this, but I think it's a real thing to behold. Watch and see if you don't agree with me, eh? Also, I'm not being mean about the "middle-aged" thing, she is just really conspicuously at least 10 years older than everyone else in this video. You'll notice, too, and then you'll stop thinking I'm an asshole:

Special bonus: Paula's "Promise of a New Day" video! Remember back when everyone cared about the environment, just a little bit? Simone says it reminds her of 'Ferngully". Also, if you can make it to the middle, you are rewarded with doves!:

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dykes to Watch Out For

Prince has never been a big fan of the lady gays. Take, for instance, the song "Bambi," off his second, self-titled album. (I just realized I have been walking around, saying his self-titled album was his debut album. I was wrong, his debut was entitled "For You" and is basically just totally bland aside from the song "soft and wet," which just goes to show that Prince, not unlike Jerri Blank, is always thinkin' about pussy). Anyway, back to the original topic: Prince and the great lesbian question. Here he is, performing "Bambi" on the Nude tour in Tokyo circa 1990:

The thing about this song that always gets me is that Prince is just so damn personally offended by the fact that "Bambi" is a dyke. Like, women are gay just to spite Prince. If only they would let Prince seduce them, he would show them that it's "better with a man," Damnit!

So anyway, just to make this a bit more interesting, let's watch the video for "1999," off the album "1999," which was released in 1993:

Apparently Prince had no problem with keyboardist Lisa Coleman being all gay and shit with that blonde lady. Don't ask me who that blonde lady is, I have no idea. Though she does look like she might be one of the 3 members of "Vanity 6." Hmm.

In 1998 or so, the Revolution was trying to get back together with Prince to do a reunion tour. Fucking exciting, right? Prince. And. The. Revolution. Do you understand? This is Purple Rain era we're talking about here, people! Dez Dickerson, Dr. Whatever his name was, Wendy and frickin' Lisa! It would have been awesome! And do you know why it never happened? Because Prince is such a little homophobic douche, he refused to reunite with the Revolution unless Wendy and Lisa held a press conference and publically denounced their lesbianism. SERIOUSLY. I guess the moral of this story is: Don't change your name to a symbol, denounce your best music, go back to your jehova's witness roots, and become a huge bigot, because in a world where prince won't get back with the revolution, we all lose. big time. Oh, and Wendy? Lisa? At least he didn't change your name to Carmen Electra, turn you into a girl rapper, and then leave you hanging until a large-jawed tranny "rock" "musician" married you (complete with MTV reality show) some 10 years later:

Aaaaaand, scene.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Work That Skirt!

In honor of this, our Nation's birthday, let's all grill various meats out-of-doors, give libations in the form of domestic beer, be awed by sparkly explosions, and most importantly, watch this video:

Yay! "Song for a Future Generation" by the B52s! Go eat a hot dog!