Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A Brief Tribute to Our Namesake
Without these jokers, this blog would probably be named after a Prince song or something. And not like I wouldn't be proud to blog at "Eroticcity.blogspot.com", but I think things are probably better this way.
xo, Gaby (I feel like Simone would probably want it made known that she does not, under any circumstances, listen to the Arcade Fire)
Get ready people, because this is going to be a very sad issue of the Accordion Connection. Are you ready? Ah, first, you better put on some mood music:
Did you do that? Okay, good. Did you chill those wine coolers like I told you to? And dry-clean (or at least Febreeze) the bear skin rug? Perfect. Okay, well, here's the first, initial sad thing: I was going through our old posts (our "backlist", if you will) and I was poking around in May and I was like "Hey, we have a lot of comments!". But you know what? They were totally just from internet robots that are trying to lure you to their internet poker sites so they can steal your credit card numbers. And also, I thought they were extra-cruel, because the robot comments were all things like "This is an informative sight with a lot of useful info", which I thought was totally making a mockery of this site, which I feel is a real resource, say, if you had to do some kind of book report on Prince or something. Anyway, my diagnosis: SAD!
Did that song run out? Wait--turn the record over, baby!
Do you know that I always thought I would lose my virginity to this song? Well, this or "Rush, Rush" by Paula Abdul. And by "always", I mean "a three month period immediately after I learned what 'virginity' was in 1991". But whatever. The second sad thing is: our long-time houseguest Maryaol Strope is going away! Going back from whence she came! You, dear reader, are perhaps not that familiar with Miss Strope, because we only had her guest-blog half an entry and also we didn't blog at all most of the time that she was here, because we were drunk and screaming to each other about how clebrities wear ugly clothing. But truly, Mary was the heart and soul of this blog. Which is why it is even SADDER that tonight, the last night of Mary, Simone, and I being united as a trio (a holy trinity, if you will), they opted to go uptown to watch "Project Runway" instead of hanging out with me (and let's be honest, staying home was their only chance for that, because there is literally no way I will not be passed out drunk when they come home). So, the return home of Mary Strope, and also the cruel, brutal, iron-fisted rule of 'Project Runway", where I think some guyb is named Santinos or maybe Santos(?) or Constantine, or is that actually 'American Idol'? Anyway: SAD.
Oh, no people! Now we're getting TOO sad! Let's perk things up a notch, shall we?
And now, cnsidering that we have roughly 45 minutes until Simone kicks me out of the house for posting that, let's all cool things down with some spunky, mall-based fun:
Though I never thought I would lose my virginity to this song, I did think, circa 1989, that I might get married to this song.
You might read this entry, and think that my life peaked in 1993. And brother, you'd be right! I mean, have I ever told you I used to take ballet classes with "Six" from "Blossom"? If you're a new reader, it's not always like this, and I'm sorry. To any remaining readers, I'm just sorry. But if you have the issue of Play boy with Tiffany in it? I would really buy it from you, for serious. She's hot! Who doesn't love a redhead? Am I right???
Okay, so anyway, the internet is back, or kind of back for now or whatever. It's a fickle mistress, so I feel my time would be better spent weighing in on other topics. For instance, in our time away, a prominent YouTube debate has developed in the mainstream media! The New York Times gives a shit and everything! And the scandale is: apparently some sexy teenage Satanist-next-door has taken YouTube by storm! Her name is Lonelygirl15 and I think she is pretty boring and also really obviously about 26, and also I don't approve of that kind of over-reliance on strappy tank tops. And, generally, I like to see a better-developed representation of teen satanists in my digi-media. But anyway, special guest-blogger (and houseguest) Maryaol Strope has a much more nuanced take on all of this than me. And...go!: Hey! So, I know I saw this girl mentioned on Gawker or something, but it was one of those things where you kind of glance over something on the internet, and then it comes up in real life and you realize it's kind of a big deal only you don't know that because the only publications you read are In Touch. The point is, this girl is probably like 22 and goes to NYU and this is, like, a video project for a class and now she's going to end up getting an endorsment contract or book deal or something, and the ultimate explanation is going to be as boring as her retarded pez videos. I mean, I can't believe this is in the New York Times! There's nothing remotely interesting about it, and if she was fat or something nobody would care. There's probably just some thirty-five year old writer for Salon slobbering over her perfectly arched, allegedly 16-year-old eyebrows and Old Navy pajama pants and turning this into a pseudo big deal. Haven't we learned a lesson from Snakes On A Plane? The lesson being, internet sensations are kind of funny and quirky at first when you think you and only 2,000 other people are in on it, and then it just gets tedious and embarassing and USA Today is all hyping it up and then you try to distance yourself from the fact that you ever thought they had any potential. So let us distance ourselves from lonelygurl69 now! And watch this glorious Cher clip instead. Because Cher is concerned about the peoples of the world.
It's the question everyone is asking: what happened to that delightful blog, you know, the one with the ranting and raving about prince and paula abdul? where has it gone? Well, the internets will no longer allow us to steal them away in the night. maybe they became frigid, realizing that what we were doing was wrong, that society would never accept us. speaking of wrong, that is, so deliciously wrong it's right, here's david bowie and marianne faithful singing "I got you, babe" in a time long ago in a land far away:
How much morphine was she on at the time, y'think?