The Accordion Connection

Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What Evil Power Pulsates the Strange Ovum the Queen is Trying to Smuggle To Earth?

That's a good question. Looks like someone put something funny in the creampuffs:



Did you notice that Dennis Hopper is in "Queen of Blood"? Classy.

Speaking of which, I am really at a loss of words here to describe these trailers. I mean, wow. Wowee wow. For instance:



I someday hope to throw a halloween party (or, you know, any old party) and call it "Monster a-Go Go", which is quite possibly the best movie title I have heard all year. That is, until I saw this:



"The Horror of Party Beach". Now, there's a title you can sink your fangs into. Anyway, last but not least, here's a little something called "The Monster of Camp Sunshine." I really can't figure out what the hell is going on with this trailer. I mean, I guess it's about some fat crazy guy who terrorizes a nudist colony called "camp sunshine"? And he's actually a monster? And for some reason there's a woman falling out of a window at first, which apparently has nothing to do with the rest of the film? Anyway, enjoy the nudity, you perverts:

Sunday, October 22, 2006

If It's Murder, You Know She Wrote It

Hey, remember back when Lil' Kim was the most glamourous possibly-post-op-tranny gal on the block, instead of this "Fergie" character? When she would be the one who'd show up at some MTV awards show wearing nothing but an enormous weave and a dixie cup coated in glitter over her vagina ? I don't know about you, but I miss those days. Kim is pretty relatable, for someone who wears pasties in lieu of a shirt on national television--my mother is really inexplicably fond of her, and I can certainly relate to her choice to accessorize her oversized novelty boobs with a petite and delicate beer gut (at least in her early days). Kim certainly had a real something-something to her, and let's all hope she gets it back. Now, please join me in belatedly celebrating her release from prison (on a perjury charge, of all things! What the fuck is that supposed to be? Who is she, Kenneth Lay??? Is this what the war on terror has wrought???), by watching this video where she is dressed like a tough Japanese motorcycle girl and rapping over Phil Collins:



What amazing wigs this woman has! That sentence isn't funny or entertaining, it's just the truth. The truth doesn't have to be entertaining, because it's just real, okay?

This video I looked all over for, and there doesn't seem to be a complete version out there, but this clip contains the most important part. Also note: guitar theatrics provided by Tommy Stinson(!):



I was going to end this with something like that awful "Lady Marmalade" video for "Moulin Rouge" that Kim was in a few years ago, just to show that even the Queen Bee makes mistakes, but I found that it's far worse than I recalled (and I recalled it being pretty bad). Also, since when is MYA a celebrity? What fucking ever!

Anyway, for no reason, here's Jermain Stewart:



Byee!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Take me on an airplane ride

Is there anything better on a rainy night than roxy music and virginia plain?



well, maybe there are better things, but I couldn't tell ya. Anyway, that was Roxy Music performing on... I guess top of the pops... in 1972. I keep watching this, thinking that maybe this time i'll see more of brian eno. But all we really get is some general giant black fur coat and a nice shot of his sparkly-gloved hands playing the organ or whatever. And all those bored teenagers dancing. How are you bored?! This is one of the greatest songs ever! And you're going to shift side-to-side like you're at some atrocious rhythmic movement ceremony with your eyes skyward? How offensive! And speaking of eyes, Brian Ferry's are awfully small and close together, aren't they? I never really noticed that before. In any event, he has two sons who are like 20 now and are both models. male models.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Shame Shame Shame



Remember how back in the mid to late 80s, everything was about not smoking crack? I mean, this Pee Wee PSA is really the tip of the iceberg. A few years ago my sister happened upon all these incredibly racist comic books from the 80s that featured a quartet of aryan angel children who, like, saved poor black kids from the evils of crack addiction in the ghetto, by thwarting various evildoers/dealers, who were invariably mutated and monsterized black people. Anyway, isn't it funny that the very children who were the main targets for these ads (you know, middle class white kids) are now snorting assloads of coke? I mean, whether you're doing it at Misshapes or Bungalow 8 or the bathroom of some bar in Murray hill with your I-banker friends, you're a fucking idiot. And that's all I have to say about that.