The Accordion Connection

Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.

Friday, June 29, 2007

If You Want to Destroy My Fall Out Boy

Okay, I get it, I get it: nobody enjoys my Fall Out Boy posts except me. I spent hours slaving away on my "introduction to crybaby-eyeliner-poppy-mall-metal that the kids seem to like so much right now" post for you people, which was both clever AND comprehensive, and what did I get from you people in return? Not a single comment. Not a one! I mean, excuse me if I'm driven to try to understand a culture where Zach Braff can be considered totally intelligent and good-looking and people use the word "guyliner" in absolute seriousness, okay? After that, I thought I was out of the Fall Out Boy-related post business for good. But something still haunted me. There was something about Fall Out Boy that I just couldn't make sense of, something about their appeal that I couldn't put my finger on. I mean, yeah, of course, they're like if AFI gang-banged Heidi from "The Hills" and then they had a baby and then threw it in a dumpster, but I felt there had to be something more to explain their colossal and confounding popularity. Something I was missing. Until I saw this Fall Out Boy video where a monkey steals Pete Wentz's girlfriend and then there's some explosions and stuff, and it all became just too clear to me: Fall Out Boy are the Weezer for our times:

First album Weezer, I mean. Before all that weird Harvard-celibate-freak-out stuff. So, what, does that make Panic at the Disco the Ozma of their generation or something? I don't even want to fucking thing about it.

Bonus question: who would you rather spend a Saturday night with: Rivers Cuomo or Pete Wentz? I'm sure they're both so intolerable in their asshattery that it would become, like, a human rights violation, but I'd go with Wentz. He is more likely to do something accidentally hilarious, I think. Didn't he try to OD on Tylenol PM once or something?

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Monday, June 25, 2007

In Honor of Gaby's Trip to SF

What can I say? It was gay pride weekend.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Rainbow Connection

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Sunday, June 10, 2007

In Honor of Simone's Trip to Olympia

It turns out the video in my last post, which was from some non-YouTube site, was kind of too wide and cutting out the links. But it's really important that it stays up, because it is the most important video of all time, so I decided to post another video to bump it down a space, make everything flow a little smoother. Plus, I had planned on posting this anyway: it's pretty fucking cute:

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Hey You, You're a Nice Guy, Put Your Shoes On, Hey You

Whenever I'm staring blankly ahead, and you're like, "What's Gaby thinking about? Is she thinking something deep? Something insightful about US foreign policy, no doubt." WRONG! I am thinking about this ten year old sketch from SNL during approximately 73% of my waking hours:

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Complete perfection, up until that dreadful self-indulgent singing part by Brooks at the very end. Urgh. But the rest of it is sometimes the only thing that's right in this crazy modern world, if you ask me.

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Whither You Now, Janeane Garofalo?

If aliens ever abducted me*, aliens with a vested interest in understanding the history and culture of human civilization, and they asked me what middle-class white America was like in 1994, I would show them this video:

I think that pretty much sums it up. God, David Cross looks so young in this. Anyway, Superchunk are playing at McCarren Pool this June 24th, New Yorksters. Get ready to live in the past !!!1!

*The aliens would have abducted me specifically, of course, because I am such a renowned expert in early 90s American culture.

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Would you, nay, COULD you love a monsterman?

Well, I mean, does he love me back?

Lordi is a Finnish hard rock band that won the Eurovision song contest in 2006. Back in the early mid-90s, the lead singer, known as "Mr. Lordi," had a dream he was at a concert and there was a skeleton on stage a-singin' and a-dancin'. When he woke up, he knew what he had to do: create a band of monsters. All he had to do was find some kindred spirits. Appropriately enough, the future members of Lordi all met at a KISS concert in 1996. It was agreed that the band should perform with spectacular pyrotechnics, done "monster-style." Poor Lordi had a real hard time getting a record deal. Apparently "the man" couldn't deal with their mind-blowing, monster-centric message. "Why do you not play the metal?!" whined "the man," "why are you dressed like the scary monsters? Why not tone in down a notch?" "NEVER!" roared Lordi, "WE ARE MONSTERS AND WE SHALL BRING DOWN AN AROCKALYPSE UPON YE AS YE HAVE NEVER SEEN!"

Anyway, they got a record deal in 2002 and came out with their first single, "Would you love a monsterman," which hopefully you just watched. Their videos all kinda follow the same formula: Norms are bumbling around, doing whatever it is norms do. Lordi shows up out of thin air and fucking blows everyone's goddamned mind, schooling them in the art of monster-rock. And then there's some high-cheekbone-ed girl whose eyes turn white or something. It may be formulaic, but damn if it isn't a good formula. Also, their songs are catchy as hell. HELL!

This is the video for "Blood Red Sandman," which is based on the horror movie "Evil Dead," which is like, 6 kinds of awesome. This song can be found on their second album, "The Monsterican Dream." Which, uh, wow. Best album title ever? I guess if you don't include their third album in the best album title contest, "The Arockalypse."

Apparently, the Fins love Lordi so much, they made a postage stamp of them after they won Eurovision. Also, the postage service released some sort of special Lordi Christmas card thingy featuring their Christmas single, "It Snows in Hell:"

Lordi: Loves female empowerment, hates witch burnings? I guess if a monsterman saved ME from a witch burning, I would and could, indeed, love that monsterman. Who wants to get with those frigid puritans anyway?

Speaking of female empowerment, the music video for "Hard Rock Hallelujah" is basically the embodiment of the fantasies girls like me had in high school:

ie, rock and roll monsters come and turn the peppy cheerleaders into your own army of the damned! Fuck you, school! yeah! On another note, isn't it funny when Europeans try to make things look American? Like, if this was an american music video, everyone would look wayyy, wayyy more plastic and perfect. There would be fake boobs. etc....

Like in the video for "Who's your Daddy?":

That guy is wearing a letterman jacket, but it's all too obvious his name is "Bjorn," or whatever, you know?

Okay, one last video, then I'm done. All I have to say is that the devil is a loser. Consequently, he is also my bitch. Better Recognize:

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Friday, June 01, 2007

Life at the Outpost: So Very, Very Straight.

My sister Julia totally sent me this video a week ago, and I've had it's catchy refrain stuck in my head ever since. It's called "Life at the Outpost" and it's by the Skatt Bros. According to some hard-hitting internet research Gaby did, the were apparently "Canada's straight answer to the Village People." Um, exactly how much blow was everyone on in the late 70s? Because everyone in Canada must have snorted giant, gaping holes in their brains. Sister, please:

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