The Accordion Connection

Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

But Whatever Happend to My Trannsylvania Twist?

I guess there's only one day a year where it's really appropriate to play the Monster Mash (though I have been known to play and sing it in, you know, mid-june or pretty much whenever the urge strikes). And that day is today, Halloween, or, as the ancient warlocks called it, All hallow's eve.

The monster mash was first recorded in 1962 by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Cryptkickers. The "boris" is because Bobby did a really good imitation of Boris Karloff.. and that's how the monster mash originated. Interesting fact: the BBC banned the song in 1962 on the grounds that it was "too morbid." Apparently Pickett also recorded a Christmas song in the same vein, "Monsters Holiday." And in 2006, the Clear the Air Organization released another version of the song with Pickett on vocals, "Climate Mash."

Anyway, there have been many covers of the song over the years. Here's a handy list:
* Horror punk group The Misfits covered this song on their album Monster Mash, and Project 1950.

I mean, if you're going to listen to the misfits, I guess this is better than pretty much anything else they did. Also, you're probably 13, so what do you know about music?

* British ska band Bad Manners released a cover of the song on their 1980 debut album, Ska 'n' B.
* Vincent Price recorded a version of the song in 1977.
* The Bonzo Dog Band covered the song for their 1969 album Tadpoles.

The Bonzo Dog Band were this weird art school band from england. they were on some british children's tv show in the early 1970s.

* Cult reggae band The Toyes recorded "Monster Hash", a cover with the lyrics altered to be about marijuana use. um, haha! wtf?
* The Beach Boys covered the tune on their 1964 album Beach Boys Concert.

Thanks, Wikipedia! Also, apparently, there was a movie musical called Monster Mash that was based on the song that came out in theaters (what?) in 1995. So there's pretty much all you need to know about the monster mash. Happy Halloween!

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Tyra Looks Way Different Now

If you watch this trailer for "Coyote Ugly" all the way to the end, you will notice a pre-"Jackass" Johnny Knoxville drinking in a crowd scene while some guy with blond hair yells:

Also, if, like me, watching the trailer just whet you appetite and made you remember seeing this in the theaters when you were a teenager, and you knew it was dumb but it also secretly seemed kind of cool because you lived in the suburbs and that was so confusing you were like "Maybe it would be fun to live like this, I can't even tell!"? Here is some more:

(PS: I heard from someone who went there once that it is not actually very fun)

Oh my god, I go so distracted by Coyote Ugly, I've been wearing my sports bra for like 2 hours ow ow ow.

Not Candy!

Are you ready for Halloween? Are you ready? Are you? Are you psyched? Have you put together an awesome outfit that shows off your hooters real nice? What, slutty gym teacher? Slutty rabbi? Slutty Fred Thompson? Slutty ghost of Jack Kerouac haunting the halls of his final home, where he was rumored to consume 17 boilermakers an hour in his final days? Are you gonna get waaaaaasted? And make out with some dude who works at American Apparel and also shops at American Apparel? At a DANCE party? Awwwwwwesome! Also, oh my god, fuck you. Also, this Busta Rhymes video

totally rips it's chorus from...

this mid-80s PSA!

Which is only from the NYC tri-state area, so not everyone has picked up on it. But for serious. It is the same exact chorus.

I was going to do a whole post about how Busta is awful but I like his old Hype Williams videos, but then another funny thing about that PSA is that it automatically makes me so depressed. Something about the tiny, furry, cute pills, and they have smiley faces and they're singing to you, but they're singing a song about how you need to stay away...seriously, it makes me, like, sick in my soul. This had nothing to do with Halloween. I'm sorry.

(okay, I recovered enough to post this:

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Werewolves on Wheels


Not kidding.

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Eat, Buy, Fill: A Triptych of Apollonian Proportions.

In the mid-80s, Prince was king of the world. In 1984, the album Purple Rain was released, and went on to sell over 10 million copies. It was the number one record in the country for 24 weeks, and all over the world, people were getting asymmetical haircuts, buying flowy lacy blouses, and "wearing lingerie to restaurants..." Okay, maybe it didn't go quite that far, but the point is, around this point, I believe Prince went MAD WITH POWER. What other reason is there for "Thank You, Mister Christian," the Apollonia 6 movie that was created in 1985? I implore you to watch this short film and have your mind completely and totally blown.
Part 1: Ohmigod! Mr. Christian, our benevolent benefactor, is dead! And we're left out of the will! And all we have is our lingere, our singing and dancing skills, an a teddy bear! Whatever shall we do?!!!

Get a job at a diner, obviously.

Part 2: Our Cavorting with teddy bears dressed up in various outfits (not unlike the teddy bear Village People) while wearing lingerie didn't go over at the diner so well. What will we do now? We're so hungry and nearly naked!

Apollonia Brand Cornflakes, Aisle 6!

Oh no! It turns out that they already have enough sluts at the grocery store. And we're so sleepy! Now what?

Learn to "pump" "gas" and "fill up" my "tank."

Whew! Thank god it was all a prank... We all know girls who look that good in lingerie can't be expected to hold a job!

Also, i think the lawyer in the first scene was in "Beyond The Valley of the Dolls" or maybe some other Russ Meyer Film... Making this a true Camp masterpiece!

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

He Has His Father's Eyes

With the way things are going for classic horror movies these days, they'll probably be remaking this with Hayden Panettiere and Shia LeBoeuf within the year.

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Well, To Be Fair, No One Really Wants To Be Buried in a Pet Sematary

Halloween: you have one week to get ready. Perhaps some seasonally appropriate music will help you get up the energy to buy a nice wig, eat some candy, do some light necromancy, and get laid by a werewolf?:

(I actually really like this song)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Plantman Knows

This used to be the song on our answering machine in 1995:

Monday, October 22, 2007

Witches' Teats

In our rubber-boobied post-Tila Tequila era, I know it's tough to toss one off without feeling totally gross about it. I mean, sure, you like fake boobs, but you don't like that you like fake boobs, right? Yes, of course I'm right. I know I'm right. I know it as surely as I know that maybe for a second you thought about auditioning for the next season of "Rock of Love", because, I don't know, it would be a fun lark, right? Funny thing to say around the water cooler. And I mean, it has to work for someone eventually, those celebrity dating shows, right? And maybe you and Bret Michaels would actually hit it off and he would take you away from your job and your life to his apartment (two bedrooms!) in the suburbs outside the Hollywood Hills, and you'd get to drive his 1998 Dodge Neon sometimes and maybe find out that syphillis is actually not that bad? Yeah, I know. Our creepy shaved-vadge culture is destroying us all, from the inside out, just as surely as the pollution created in producing these San Fernando Valley gems will be the final insult to our planet, the final drop in the bucket that pushes us into a new ice age (that was actually in the DVD extras on An Inconvenient Truth).

By now you're probably saying, But Gaby, what can I do? I'm just one person. I can't fix the environment, lift public morale, or force girls to keep even a smidgen of their pubic hair intact. Well, I can think of one thing you could do. If you're going to jerk off, it might as well be to some witch porn. I mean, have a little dignity. If not for yourself, then for America.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

They All Want Sausages

I stumbled across this old Hungarian commercial for sausages while looking at a livejournal community about vintage ads... Yes, my life is glamorous and exciting! Anyway, now that Gaby and I are back together, we'll be posting more regularly again soon. Promise.

In the meantime, go eat yourself some sausages.

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