It has been established, on this blog (and in, you know, the world) that Prince is one crazy ass bitch. It is a point that I have made on this blog time and time and time and time and time and time again.
You'd think I'd've run out for things to say. But then I turned on the tv this evening and what did I see? Prince himself, wearing a black and white one-sleeved harlequin print cape... thing. And Adam Ant-esque makeup. Performing one of the worst songs I have ever heard. Yes yes y'all, it was Graffiti Bridge.
Ohmigod, this movie! It's so horrible, yet so fascinating, and I couldn't look away. It's like the gayest train wreck you've ever seen. From what I cobbled together from wikipedia, apparently Graffiti Bridge was supposed to be the sequel to Purple Rain. Prince reprises his role as "The Kid," as does Morris Day and the Time. And that's pretty much where any semblance of it being sequel ends. Apparently the whole plot has something to do with Morris Day being the, like, feudal lord of the nightclub world of Minneapolis, and The Kid is downtrodden and just wants to make beautiful music about the lord, man! And wear amazingly ridiculous clothing. At one point, Prince performs wearing a one-shouldered black jersey jumpsuit with a heart painted on his bare chest that has "beat me" written inside of it. SERIOUSLY.
Of course, Prince being the crazy bitch he is, there are no videos from Graffiti Bridge available online. EXCEPT THIS ONE. Which is a remix video some bored person made out of the trailer. And is actually pretty funny.
In other interesting Graffiti Bridge facts, George Clinton, Marva Staples, and the young Tevin Campbell all have small roles in it. Why did they agree to this? I assume George Clinton was probably toked out of his mind, Marva didn't know what was going on, and poor young Tevin was like 12 and had no idea what he was getting into. Madonna, who you may remember from such self-indulgent gems as "Truth or Dare" and the extremely well received "Who's That Girl" TURNED DOWN a role in Graffiti Bridge because it was so poorly written.
Anyway, in my attempt to find videos of Prince, I found this totally bizarre, incredibly poor quality video of James Brown at some weird telethon calling Michael Jackson, and then Prince himself up to the stage. Prince piggyback rides his bodyguard up to the stage, and then humps a guitar for approximately 30 seconds, before letting out a shriek and exiting the stage, but not before knocking over part of the set. CRAZY. BITCH.