The Accordion Connection

Simone says there's a popular indie rock band called the "Accordion Connection, you know, that one with all the guys on stage at once, and one of them has a drum? You know who I mean". Anyway, this is an unrelated blog of bitchin' YouTube videos.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Softest Butch...

...is a 13 year old pop star named Justin Bieber. I am assuming he's 13, because really, I don't want to actually do any research about this child. But, OMG, check out his non-threatening lesbian haircut! The clothes work for it to! The first time I saw one of this kid's videos on TV I was really shocked that they were marketing an adorable dyke to the teenagers. Okay, maybe that's just my own personal fantasy, but seriously, fucking look at this kid:

Omg! So lesbionic! So "'Non-threatening Boys' magazine"!

Also, according to that video, he knows Usher. GAY!

But okay, here's where I get angry. This song:

"One Less Lonely Girl." Alright, I heard this on the z100 the other day, and the lyrics... well, let's just read the ones that piss me off: "I'm gonna put you first/I'll show you what you're worth". AUGH! No, 12 year old boy, fuck you. Girls do NOT NEED BOYS IN ORDER TO FEEL VALIDATED OR WHOLE OR SOMETHING!!! JUSTIN BIEBER IS THE PATRIARCHY! Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!
Also, apparently 12 year olds love to hang out in laundromats these days? The times, they are a changin'.

In conclusion, wouldn't it be awesome if Justin Bieber was actually the softest butch in deep undercover 13 year old boy drag? That would rule. But he isn't, and also he's a tool of the patriarchy, so boo-urns.
THE END.

EDIT:
Additionally, I would love to know what Beavis and Butthead would say about this kid! Huh-huh-huh.


EDIT #2:

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5 Comments:

At 11:51 AM, November 23, 2009, Blogger Nickey said...

omagod, I just watched that whole video and I think I puked in my mouth a little.

 
At 12:00 PM, November 23, 2009, Blogger Simone said...

I know! He loves puppies! He's so romantic! He's TWELVE!!!! ACK!!!

 
At 1:26 AM, November 24, 2009, Blogger Nickey said...

Oh, Simone, I have to tell you! Today I asked some of the 13-year-old girls I was working with if they liked Justin Beiber and they freaked out! They love him! I asked them why and they said "he's a really good singer and he's yummy!" Bleh! But they seemed to admit, in a weird indirect way, that exactly why they like him is because he's non-threatening. I was also surprised at the positive reaction because one of these girls has a super cool hipster dad. And when we did an activity last week where we were telling each other something that inspired us I said "feminist punks" and she seemed really impressed. So why does she like Justin Beiber?? I don't get it.

Also, apparently he is 15, if that is any better.

 
At 5:29 PM, November 24, 2009, Blogger Gerard said...

love this post

 
At 8:17 PM, December 13, 2009, Blogger Mary said...

When I saw photos of this kid at first, I ALSO thought he was a little teen lez!

Lately I've been thinking about how the stereotype is that only men like these tender young barely legal types, when in reality girls, teens and women are all over that shit, as Twilight and the like has clearly evidenced. (Need I remind you that we all wanted to do the nubile Billy Elliot when we were like 16?)

Admittedly, this is not the first time I've mistaken a little boy for a young butch. Great minds think alike/that little boys are probably lesbians.

Semi -Unrelated: There were these middle school boys waiting for the bus outside Mary's Exchange and they were like, "You are SO gay!" and then the other one was like, "No, YOU are so gay. You touch guys!" and then really weakly, the other one was like, "No, I'm not," and then another one was like, "Ohmygod, You are so HIGH!" Hi-larious. I considered giving them a lecture in the "takes one to know one" variety.

 

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